aiko_outofsight (aiko_outofsight) wrote in theneutralclub,

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Feelings of helplessness swirl around me like black tendrils, gripping my body into a rigid paralysis, I can do nothing. My minds screams it is none of your business, my heart whispers no, stop him at all costs.  His pale long fingers snake forward, slipping fire-edged pieces of paper out of their manila protection.  They flutter to his lap. Yuriki notices, the slight movement of his lips in a fish sound, silent gaping mouth. He locks his fingers around the fragile bodies, I'm afraid they'll break in his indifferent clutches.  The black shine of his shirt matches the darkness of his dejected mood, repressed anger springing forth from him like spewing lava. Kinetic energy flows from my dark eyes, willing his to meet mine. He slowly looks up from his hushed conversations with Yuki. One sentence spills form my sad trembling lips: "That was messed up, Ivan." "What?" I shake my head, his muted confusion is genuine, as my eyes point at Yuriki's fingers, clutching Eva's secret letters, rapt in reading her fatal goodbye.  "What?" He repeats again, this time, annoyance shows apparent in his accented voice. "We're close like that.." "You don't let others read notes addressed to you." "Are you mad at me?" This time, he sounds indifferent to my feelings, trying to sound cool and composed underneath his spanish words. I try for no such emotion, allowing the truth to color my words to the emotions I feel. "No, I'm not mad..just, disappointed." I merge with the crowd, dissipating into the flow towards the open waiting vans.  Masia and Eva scan the crowd, I feel my eyes flicker behind me, unattached to the scene before me: Yuriki listening with shining eyes to an irritated Ivan, moved to emotions, Eva hoping, praying no one else has read her honest confessions.. I want to make secret signs with my liquid mirrors, known as eyes, that I have failed. All is lost should circle my forehead, as I duck into the warm van, my foggy breath the only sure proof that I still live, guilty as charged.
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